July 6, 2008 - What is going on with A-Rod and his sex life is confusing New Yorkers. Park Slope resident Kate Bryant wondered, “Madonna is having a threesome with Lenny Kravitz and A-Rod?” Lewis Munch of Hoboken thought, “A-Rod is doing it with Madonna and C-Rod in a threesome, right?”

It is not just the fans who are confused with the alleged sexcapades of A-Rod, his wife “C-Rod”, Madonna, Lenny Kravitz, and possibly the entire state of New Hampshire. His teammates are equally confused. “A-Rod, C-Rod, Madonna, and Gladys Kravitz are having a foursome? I think that’s right,” offered pitcher Joba Chamberlain reflecting the views of most of the team.

One long time Yankees staffer that requested anonymity said that it was more confusing than the wife swapping that took place during the 1974 and 1975 seasons. The team finished in second and third place respectively in those years thanks to the off the field liaisons, however most baseball historians blame the team playing at Shea Stadium during those seasons.

Yankees Executive Vice President Hal Steinbrenner in a press release stated, “It is in the best interest of the New York Yankees to profit from this scandal. We are going to not only have a series of specials on YES about A-Rod’s sex life, but are going to be issuing a set of exclusive baseball cards in conjunction with Topps that feature all the players in this scandal.” The cards, expected in about a week, will be sold for $19.95 at Yankee Stadium, the Yankees Clubhouse shops and on the team’s website.