July 27, 2008 – If you have been a television critic for the last fifty-two years then you would know how hard it is to not watch these so-called reality shows without getting drunk. I know what reality is and you people don’t put it on your channels. Buzz Aldrin going to the Moon now that was reality. It wasn’t faked on a soundstage in Nevada, now that is crazy talk.
As I look at this bottle of Jack Daniels which I have been making more empty as I am sitting here writing this and watching America’s Stupidest Pets on Fox. . . uhn,l;,gvb ,m, gxvbg v65tyhp’[;
Sorry I passed out on the keyboard. Now what was I saying. The Democrats, they are all Communists. No that isn’t right. What was it now?
The Dick VanDyke Show. That was a disappointment. No dicks, vans, or dykes. Wait that isn’t right either.
What the hell was I am talking about. Drunk. That is it. This one time Roger Grimsby and I went to this bar on 65th Street and there were these two redheads. . .
That isn’t right. Oh, reality shows. I have to be really drunk so I can watch them because they are so stupid. I am now on my fourth bottle of Jack Daniels and there are 42 minutes left in the show. God, Roger Grimsby was never this drunk.
Why do you have to have the reality shows? I can only hold so much liquor and be able to type. Please stop and put professional bowling back on.
Larry Rawson has been the chief television critic for The New York Limes since 1956.
Some of his columns are paid advertorials, but to preserve editorial integrity The Limes will not reveal which columns are.
July 20, 2008 – Did you watch the All Star Game on Fox last Tuesday? Sure we all did unless you are one of the rich suits who can afford the $1000 ticket to the game. Those rich bastards missed out on some of the best commentary on the sport of baseball by the greatest baseball announcer in the history of the game – Tim McCarver.
Where can I start? The man was probably the greatest catcher in the history of baseball. He was so talented they won’t put him in the Hall of Fame because his greatness would overshadow everyone else. He had that much true talent.
McCarver knows how to use the English language. He puts Shakespeare to shame. He even comes up with new words! I can never forget the day he came up with the word splate. Tim said about the great breakthrough in the English language, “I got my ‘splitter’ and my ‘plate’ mixed up and kind of called it a ‘splate.’ It’s a new word I made up.” Splate, that is the mark of a true wordsmith. Did Shakespeare come up with any new words? Methinks not.
He is an expert on baseball. I am sure you remember this brilliant insight from 2005 when he said, “There is a world of difference between a count of one ball and two strikes is a lot different situation than hitting with two strikes and one ball.” Or maybe this from 2006, “Pitching is such a vital part of the game, as far as winning is concerned.” Pure genius.
Tim McCarver, coupled with Fox’s incredibly wonderful coverage of baseball made the All Star Game a sheer delight. He is much better than someone like Vin Scully and obviously more intelligent because of McCarver’s unique grasp of the obvious and fearlessness in mentioning it.
In my fifty-two years of television criticisms I have never found a better announcer!
I’ll leave you with some words of inspiration from the great man, “One thing about ground balls. They don’t go out of the ball park.”
Larry Rawson has been the chief television critic for The New York Limes since 1956.
Some of his columns are paid advertorials, but to preserve editorial integrity The Limes will not reveal which columns are.
June 29, 2008 - Wow. That is all I have to say about CSI:NY.
It has to be about the most accurate show about the NYPD ever. They get everything so perfectly right and they get access to places that we would never see normally. How ever did they get to film in the Statue of Liberty? By being the best show on television ever, that’s how!
I am still trying to figure out some of the places they film the show, but the city is so big I may never find them. I had the same trouble with NYPD Blue and Kojak, too. A lot of these places look familiar, but I can’t place them.
I hardly ever see them filming, unlike the awful Law & Order shows which are constantly getting in the way of where I am going and keeping me awake at night. Not getting in people’s way when filming makes the show even better. I don’t know how they do it, but it is amazing.
The acting on the show is great and they don’t seem to get the same people you see on Law & Order which makes things even better. It is like they are finding a totally different pool of actors thousands of miles away. That really helps a lot.
In my fifty-two years of television criticisms I have never found a better show!
Larry Rawson has been the chief television critic for The New York Limes since 1956.
Some of his columns are paid advertorials, but to preserve editorial integrity The Limes will not reveal which columns are.