August 3, 2008 – The American Association of Physicists and Astronomers (AAPA) announced today at a Midtown press conference that the Universe is moving closer to “ultimate destruction” due to the Mets slipping out of first place and the Phillies taking over the top spot in the National League Eastern Division.

Dr. Eugene Woodling, director of the AAPA, expressed grave concern, “This could rupture the Space-Time Continuum as we know it. We know the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle is coming into play, as well as the lack of a decent Mets bullpen, and we have come up with a device to compensate. We call it a Heisenberg Compensator and have several prototypes already deployed. We can’t get into specifics about the machines, but we have more faith in them than the Mets relief staff. Still this is not as bad as the situation in 1980. At least not yet.”

Mets General Manager Omar Minaya in a conference call told reporters, “Don’t blame our bullpen for putting the universe in peril. It is just baseball and we all know given past history the Phillies are destined to loose. You have to trust me.”

Baseball expert and Fox network commentator Tim McCarver summed up the situation with his usual brilliance, “You have to win games because if you don’t you’ll need to win more.”