August 3, 2008 – The last time an Olympic games had this sort of buzz was back in 1936 at the Berlin games. The way dissidents are being rounded up, minorities repressed, and a whitewash is being put on an evil empire’s capital city is strikingly similar. The efforts of billions of dollars along with the untold millions of dollars were used as bribes to get the International Olympic Committee to legitimize the regime by holding the games in Beijing are finally coming to fruition.

“If one thing these evil regimes have in common it is to create stunning propaganda,” said Ian McKenna, sports director of Human Rights for All. “The Nazis had Leni Riefenstahl to sculpt their message; the ChiComs have NBC which is owned by one of their biggest trading partners General Electric sculpting their message for American consumption.”

Not everyone seems to believe that the Olympics will be a Red Chinese propaganda fest. The Limes chief television critic, Larry Rawson, looks forward to the NBC coverage, “Those ChiCom bastards killed my brother at the Chosin Reservoir, but this is the Olympics. NBC is going to make sure we know and see what every American athlete did. Who cares about these damn foreigners? NBC is doing a much better job than ABC ever did with Jim McKay going on about all these foreigners. NBC knows it isn’t about sports it is about how the Americans do at sports.”

Las Vegas odds makers feel that there is a chance of a massive uprising that will surpass the Tiananmen Square protests of 1989. Vinnie “Jersey Boy” Giocatore, president of the Las Vegas Odds makers Association, said, “The consensus among our members is the odds of a massive uprising are 2 to 1 and a complete revolution 10 to 1. Most of the money is on the PRC government with a spread of plus1000 deaths. My gut tells me something will happen, but I am not sure what.”

Due to The Limes pro-Tibet and anti-Wal-Mart editorial positions, our correspondents were denied access to the games.